It's not all fun and games however as he's also discovered that giant rubber ducks are very scary things and can put you off an entire swimming lesson. Still, can't be all ups I guess, hehe!
It's a very strange thing that he's starting to understand the words we say to him. When we say "clap" it may take a little while to process but he claps in the end. He's also starting to recognise his name. All this has got me thinking about the way in which we talk to him and children in general.
I've been reading a lot about communicating with children lately, especially when it comes to praise (and gender but that needs a whole blog post of its own). This article in particular has shifted my perception on what praise is for and how it works.
Having been a teacher for nine years and in the education system for a total of 27 years in one form or another I am pretty indoctrinated in the "positive praise is always a good thing" camp. It's drilled into us from our own childhoods, schooling and, for me, my training and pratise as a teacher that "well done" and "good girl/boy" are the things to say to encourage children to feel good about their achievements and themselves.
These are the sort of phrases that automatically comes out of my mouth when Connor claps his hands or climbs that step. It is so very hard to change such habits but now is the time to do it, while he still doesn't really understand the words fully and sees only our smiling faces as his encouragement. Now is the time to practice saying things like...
"I can see you're trying really hard to get up that step Connor, you'll get there soon."
...Sounds fake and strange and not nearly as encouraging to my "clever boy" trained mind but it has so much more going for it.
:: It is an observation showing that I am really looking at what he's doing, he is the focus of my attention and that his actions have real value.
:: It is focused on his effort not the outcome of his activity.
:: It is open to the possibility that he can change and improve... It is 'growth' not 'fixed' mindset orientated.
Here's hoping that by the time he really does understand these words my "well done" dial has been turned down enough to make sure that most of my praise really means something. We'll see... I'm still learning and need some serious practice but I can get there with time. That's my own growth mind set talking.
Have a good weekend in the sunshine all.
S. x
