"Is He Good?"

"Is he good?" is something that comes out of people's mouths a lot when they meet a baby for the first time. Sometimes it's friends or family and other times vague aquaintances or total strangers. At first, it didn't bother me too much and I just replied "yes" and smiled thinking it a slightly odd question. Now however, having had time to think about it, it drives me slightly crazy with it's ridiculousness!

What does it mean to 'be good'?
In my mind to 'be good' you need to know and meet other people's expectations of how to 'be good'. A person who has no idea of or understanding of what these expectations are cannot be expected to meet them. Does this mean that because he doesn't sleep through the night, eat a whole bowl of mush without a fuss and go down for naps with ease in the day that Connor is not a good baby? Does it mean that he's a bad baby?

Ridiculous! He's a baby! Not a miniature adult who knows the rules to fit in with the norm. When he's a toddler it will be equally ridiculous, and again at five and ten and fifteen years of age because children and teens aren't mini adults either, they are just a little further along the road to becoming one.

Being 'good' is a pressure that, thankfully, the babies in the world are not yet aware of, even if their parents are. I hope to raise happy, kind, confident little people in time. I'm not in a rush. If they don't conform to the 'good' template at various (or possibly many!) points along the path I don't really mind.

Good manners will come when they come if we use them ourselves and set an example, sleeping through the night will eventually be part of our lives, confidence and independence will grow with support and truly unconditional love. It's not a race and what works for some may not work for others. I'm just hoping to enjoy the journey, day by day, moment by moment because one of these days my little boy will be leaving home and as everyone with grown up children keeps telling me, it really does come round too quickly.

So, my not-so-good baby who doesn't come close to sleeping through the night, only naps attached to me or his Daddy during the day and throws the majority of his food on the floor barely touched, good on you! You're amazing and you're learning everyday to be more and more amazing.

(Had to put a photo in... Blogs are weird with no pictures!...Tuggy box... Instant success for very little effort!)

Rant over...Over and out friends.
S. x

Spring time and struggles...

To my annoyance I wrote a blog post entitled "Spring Time!" last week and it disappeared off the face of the earth before I could publish it, oh bother! So this is a combined post to cover last week's missing one and a few difficult thoughts about baby struggles...

First off, spring!

Last weekend was the first when we could really get Connor out into the garden and onto the grass without extra layers and a blanket. He loved it and happily sat there drinking in the fresh air and trying to eat the odd dandelion.

The spring sunshine inspired the "thank you" cards we made for Dutch relatives who sent gifts back with Sam's parents a few weeks ago. I'm always a little unsure about children and thank you cards, perhaps because they were never expected of us unless we initiated them when we were small or maybe it's all those articles I've been reading about building genuine gratitude in children. Either way, the expectation is there and I don't fancy rocking the boat just yet, though maybe I should start as I mean to go on!

Now for the struggles...

Our little boy is a bit of a sensitive soul I think... In fact I know it for sure, most who know him well would agree. He is a happy chap in general who can always find a smile but does struggle with having to deal with too much 'new' and 'busy' in his days. We've just come back from an over night stay with his lovely Great Gran in Wales and he did his best to hold it all together in a new place but he did struggle... He struggled at night a lot, sleeping fitfully and needing lots of cuddles, and today, having had less than a happy night he really struggled to nap and feed. Now we are home he has let it all out and had a big cry and finally fed well and fallen asleep with a lot of help.

Now here is the question... Does he need more 'busy' and 'new' to help him get used to it? Or does that not work? Should we keep his little life small and familiar until he has learned some of the skills he needs to cope better? I know what my heart tells me and the more I read the more my head agrees. But it is such a dilemma... We have family and friends all over the country who we want to see either as visitors here or as guests staying with them. But at the same time, I know that Connor is not a show piece to be taken here there and everywhere to entertain and give cuddles to (to him) complete strangers in completely strange places.

It breaks my heart to see how difficult he finds it, even once we are back on familiar ground, to process all that goes on around him when we're doing things out of the ordinary. It's likely it will still take another couple of days for him to be quite back to his normal self and in the meantime I'll keep life simple, not too much 'busy' and not too much 'new'.

Wishing you all and lovely start to the month,
S. x