One of Those Day

Every week at the moment we have 'one of those days.' You know the ones where you have lots planned but none of it works out? Sometimes this happens because plans fall through or something that should have been simple and quick gets complicated and takes a lot longer. Round here 'those days' happen when Connor is having a hard time for whatever reason...teething, going through a growth spurt or developmental leap, just feeling a bit overwhelmed with life in general or perhaps being a little under the weather. Whatever it is that causes it he just can't cope with everyday life like he normally does. There are lots and lots of tears that take longer to get over and start so much more easily than usual. There is a lot of whining and a constant need for cuddles...often very wriggly ones. Whatever we try to do is not quite the right thing. Life is just too hard.

Its on days like this that I am incredibly grateful for the fact that I can sack everything off and just be with him at home for the day. I have no obligation to leave the house if I don't fancy it. I do not have to go out to work. I do not have to get the house sparkling clean or even prepare meals for anyone but the two of us (and there's always a fish finger sandwich or a frozen pizza for the days when even simple cooking is too high a mountain to climb.)

So, on 'one of those days' we take a deep breath and ride the stormy sea together with lots of play and singing and slow, slow movement from activity to activity. And do you know what? Although my ears would rather not have to hear the whining and crying that happens many many times throughout the day, and I'd rather he wasn't suffering whatever feelings and frustrations have taken hold of him, I love 'those days'. 'Those days' remind me that this is why I wanted to be a mama. To live every moment of being this little boy's mum, even the shitty bits...maybe especially the shitty bits. Because although it is not always easy (and I certainly used to find it really hard but have got better with practise and an understanding that "this too shall pass") its real and its not the sugar coated vision of life that I post on Instagram. It is in some small part the antidote to it.

And at the end of 'one of those days' I feel a deep sense of achievement despite the fact that I have at most done a load single of laundry and there are still pots to be washed by the sink and the floor is filthy and that pile of stuff is still on the bottom step of the stairs and I didn't manage to ring the garage to book the car in for it's MOT and there is no milk in the fridge and we had a made up meal of whatever we could find that roughly went together and the library books are now overdue and the toys are still scattered all over the sitting room floor and Connor has no nappies for tomorrow morning.

We have still made it through the day. We have still had lots of cuddles and a few smiles and giggles when the sea was a little calmer. We have still felt the deepest sort of love that it is possible to feel. And I am proud of my boy and I am proud of myself for coping with the storm because everything else can wait. None of it matters right now. And that is a great feeling. That it is possible to live a day where nothing matters but my boy. Pure bliss. I'm already looking forward to the next one.

Hope you have (or maybe don't have) 'one of those days' soon.
S. x