Acceptance and affirmation

 I get it, I accept it, we accept it as a family. We have one of those 'high needs' babies. You know, the ones described as clingy, sensitive, fussy and generally hard work.
 It is hard work at times when all he wants is to be attached to us but still wants to explode the world while in arms. Imagine wrestling a small bear and you can kind of get an idea. But it is also really fun!  All those words used to describe a baby like Connor have such negative connotations but for me they are good things.

 He is clingy because he feels at his safest and happiest in our arms and no one else will do. He can really let himself be in our presence so on those days when he just needs to have a good cry to process what's been going on around him he can feel safe enough to let it all out while cuddling in my arms and once it's done he's back to being happy, if a little sensitive still.
 He is sensitive because he is aware of what is going on around him. If another baby cries, he might cry too because he's aware that there is something worth crying about going on very near to him. If he gets upset because of loud noises or sudden appearances it's because he wasn't expecting them and wanted the safety and security of parental arms to help him cope and calm down.
 He is fussy because he is communicating his needs and wants. He is fussy because he is frustrated that he can't do something he wants to do, no matter how hard he tries. He is fussy because he is tired or uncomfortable or lonely or hungry or bored... And every time he fusses, one of us will tend to him to help meet his needs so he is just as fussy the next day and the day after that because we always pay attention to his communication.

 Not knowing any other folks with babes like Connor it can seem like we're doing it wrong sometimes. Conversations with friends are helpful in some ways but often leave me feeling doubtful rather than reassured... Perhaps we're spoiling him? Maybe we should just leave him to cry?  What if we're doing more harm than good? Maybe he is hungry and we should feed him up?
 Thank goodness for the internet. On here there are whole communities of people who have similarly needy babies or who did and now have wonderful, whole, loving children who may still be a little spirited but are happy and healthy and independent and self reliant.
 These stories and insights affirm what we are doing. We do not need to try and change our beautiful boy. We do not even need to try and change his behaviour. We need to keep on just as we are, caring for him with patience, empathy and love... And maybe a bit more patience.

 I read a great quote the other day, not sure who it was from and I've edited it just a little to make it my mama mantra for those doubt filled moments that creep into my head on the difficult days and wakeful nights...

 "The more you trust your decisions, the less you need others to love them"

 Hope you all find acceptance and affirmations of your own during your rough times.
S. x